You guys, I am SO sorry I’ve been MIA. I caught the gnarliest bug/virus/cough/swine flu that’s been circulating. How I manage to never get sick while taking Chicago Public Transportation but get knocked on my tush as soon as I come into contact with my coworkers escapes me, but it probably has something to do with airplanes, crap food and Veuve brunches at Polo when I’m here. Anyway, with the help of over the counter cough medicine and chicken soup I’m here to help you find perfect last minute Valentine’s Day gift for the man in your life. Whether it’s your boyfriend, husband, or someone you want to be either of the aforementioned, I gotcha covered. And if your Valentine is four-legged (they’re the best kissers anyway) you can shop the entirety of Ruby’s spoiled-rotten wishlist/shopping list here. But back to the other guy who’s easily persuaded by promises of food and cuddling. We’re like 4 days out people. Now is not the time to go on a quest to find the perfect gift at the mall, nor is it the time to start making a scrapbook from scratch (though true story I did that for Dr. D&D one year, but it was during a charity function where I couldn’t sit or sleep for 36 hours so I had the time to do it.) What you need to do is get down to brass tacks and impress him through his stomach – that’s the way to his heart, after all. So your approach is two-pronged. You’ll wake him up on Friday morning with the most delicious-smelling manly breakfast he’ll ever experience. Ain’t nothing better than breakfast in bed, especially not when an absurd amount of bacon is involved. Just when you’ve lured him into a lard-induced food coma, you strike again, with the best gift a guy could ask for. A watch, of course. Whether you’re rolling with Rolex or you’re starting him out with his first watch (think Movado or TAG Heuer, or even a cool fashion watch), you can rest assured it will be the Best. Valentine. Ever. Shower him with love, carbs and horology, and you’ll have officially cemented your title as #1 Valentine (and thus doubled your odds of a freaking fantastic Valentine’s Day for yourself you fabulous gifter,you). Now find yourself an apron (and not much else) to wear Friday AM and get ready to bookmark these recipes and goodies. Amazon Prime is your friend, as is RLJ‘s expedited shipping.
“I’m Donuts About You” card (and an awesome alternative)/Bacon Hearts/Love You More Than Bacon sign/File this under things he probably won’t miss but will take it to the next level: Free V-Day Printables/Maple Bacon Donuts/Inform him the dress code will be strictly enforced, then give him these Valentine’s Day boxers.